I see dad or mum very little - Kids EN UMPOD
Every child has the right to see their mum and dad regularly and in person.
- Would you like to spend more (or less) time with your dad or mum?
- Have you not heard from your mum or dad for a long time? Would you like to hear from them more often?
- Does your dad or mum want a change in the way they contact you?
Do you have any of these questions?
Then we might help. Every case is different, so we’d like to know more about you and your family.
Contact us and we will write back and tell you what we can do for you.
Natalie´s story (age 12)
Natálie lives in Spain with her mum. Her dad is in the Czech Republic. She used to go see him for a weekend every month. Recently, however, she has only seen her dad twice a year, once in the summer and once in the winter. And she’s sad about that. Her dad doesn’t like it either, but because travelling is expensive, he can’t visit her that often.
Umpod arranged a mediation session for the parents and helped them write a new agreement on how Natálie and her dad would see each other. Now Natalie goes to see her dad 4 times a year and Mum and Dad take turns in taking her to the Czech Republic and bringing her back home.
Patrik’s story (age 9)
Patrik was 9 years old and lived in Prague with his dad. His mum moved back to Germany, but she wanted to see Patrik more than once a month. Because Patrik’s dad didn’t allow this, his mum contacted Umpod to help her.
We tried to help the parents reach an agreement in mediation, but this failed. Mum asked the court to make a change. It took a long time for the court to find out what the parents’ situation really was. Meanwhile, Patrik came to Umpod to say how he would like to see his mum.
After a year and a half, the court finally made a decision, considering Patrik´s wishes. Patrik is now almost 11 years old, and he sees his mum every other weekend. One weekend he is with her in Prague, and the other weekend he is with her in Germany.
Why are Umpod and the courts involved?
Sometimes parents disagree on how often each of them should see their child. Mum and Dad may have different opinions on what would be best. They have to agree on how often the child will see each parent, and where, and for how long. If they cannot agree, then someone else, such as Umpod or the court, must help the family solve the situation. Umpod is also here to help a child when they wish to have a different living or visiting arrangement with their mum or dad.
Solution by mediation
Umpod first suggests that the parents take part in mediation. This means one or more sessions where everyone may present his/her opinion, and they all try to agree without the necessity of a court hearing.
Children aged 6 years or older take part in the mediation. They can come to the session with their parents and say what they wish, or they can say everything to the psychologist, who will speak for them during the mediation. Every child has his own guide (psychologist or social worker) in the mediation, helping them cope with the session.
If the parents can come to an agreement during the mediation, that’s great. The court will usually confirm their agreement. If they disagree, then it is up to the judge to decide about the children.
For more about mediations at Umpod,
What happens at the court?
The judge will find out what Mum and Dad want and will also find out what the children want. So that the judge can find out what the children want, he may invite them directly to the court or will ask a social worker or us (Umpod) to do so.
The judge can also ask an independent adult – a guardian ad litem – what would be best for the child. The guardian ad litem is either Umpod or a social worker. If we (Umpod) act as the guardian, we try not to take sides with Mum or Dad, but instead try to find a solution which would be the best for the child. We then submit our opinion to the court.
The judge will think through all the options and finally decide. He or she will determine where and with whom the child will live, as well as how the child will see the other parent.
If Mum or Dad doesn’t like the judge’s decision, they can appeal. It may take a long time, but another court will examine everything once again, and determine whether the first court decision was all right or whether it needs to change. If the parents do not appeal, the decision stands.
Every case is a bit different. If you’re wondering what might happen in your case, the best thing to do is to contact us directly.
For more about court hearings,